Husbands and boyfriends: How do you deal with your jealousy with wives and girlfriends?
I was a jealous boyfriend. Now, I am a jealous husband. My wife had breast cancer, with both breasts removed. This happened several years ago and after the mastectomies, she refused for years to have breast implants. There is a new man working in her department that is divorced. His ex-wife had breast implants done by this cosmetic surgeon. Now my wife has made an appointment with this same doctor. She says she wants to make herself more attractive for me, but my jealous suspicions seem to be that she wants to impress her coworker. They started eating lunch together as part of a group from the office. With summer vacations and people out of the office, I have found out through my wife that these two are having lunch exclusively every day, either in the office cafe or other lunch places outside the office.
A college buddy of mine, who’s wife did leave him for another man, told me that once his wife started going to lunch outside the office with guys, guys would take her to other places in their cars besides restaurants during lunchtime. I was told it was a bad sign and to watch out.
In the past, I have broken up with girlfriends that I suspected were interested in other men and I felt they were cheating on me although I had no concrete proof. Other women have broken up with me saying that I was too controlling.
My wife only has a half hour for her lunch and her co worker has an hour. She has told me that other people were fired because they were repeatedly late coming back from lunch. I told her I don’t think it’s a good idea for her to go off with this guy for lunch because if she’s late too often she could get fired.
At the place where my wife works they have a strict policy on alcohol use and being under the influence of alcohol in the work place. Two co workers at her office were fired when a manager noticed they were acting strangely after lunch, had two police man called to the work place, administered a breathalyzer and they were both fired. Last week, my wife does not drink, and when we were at a restaurant for dinner, she noticed a wine on the list and said that she tried some of that at lunch earlier that day. Her friend was having a glass of wine and recommended that she try it because it tasted like fruity grape juice.
“So, you had a glass of wine during your lunch break from work?”
Yeah, it was just one glass.
“Do you remember what happened to Susie and Jim when the drank at lunchtime?”
Sure. But they were really being stupid about it. I only had one glass. Can’t get drunk from just one old little glass of wine.
“Do you really want to take that chance? You shouldn’t be drinking during the day. I thought you didn’t drink.”
“I don’t. But that wine Kenny had me try didn’t taste like wine at all.”
It wouldn’t surprise me if Kenny didn’t slip a roofie in my wife’s drink from the way she was acting that night.
To make things more complex, I was laid off from my employer two years ago and I am working my own business in addition to working a second job in sales, so I am covered under my wife’s health insurance policy.
When I question my wife about this co worker, my wife gets angry and threatens to leave me saying “good luck paying for your own health insurance. Individual plans cost a fortune.”
I have been uneasy with any man that my wife enjoys his company. When I was a kid, most wives stayed at home with children and the men worked. Today, many wives are working, and with the recession on, many husbands are not working or are working their own businesses because most companies are simply not hiring anymore.
Does your wife have lunch and socialize with other men at work? Does your wife have other male friends? How do you deal with this as a husband? (The same questions also apply to boyfriends with girlfriends).
My wife says that she and her co worker friend are just “Platonic” and there is nothing sexual or romantic in their friendship. Personally, I think the whole notion of a Platonic relationship between a man and a woman is a load of bull.
Women can answer also although I am primarily looking for men’s opinions on this matter.
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